Thursday, October 25, 2012

Making it Through

Before I became a mom, I had all these ideas of what kind of mom I would be. No sugar before 3 years old. Won’t tolerate any whining. Keep house clean and neat. Ha!! Don’t get me wrong, I am glad I set a lot of standards because at least I have a mental goal of what type of mom I want to be. However, I have also learned that being a mom many days it just about getting through the day : Are they fed? Are they bathed? Are they still alive!? Do I still have my sanity? Yes? Ok, the day was a success.

A great example of one of the expectations I set for myself is homeschooling. I have not ruled it out by any means. However, now I think, Do I really want to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with my children for the next 15-18 years? Really? So I told myself, “It will be great if you can homeschool, but it’s just fine if you don’t. You are still a good mom.” If homeschooling will bring on more stress and confusion than rewards, what’s the point? This goes with anything in our child-rearing.

Sometimes we look at other moms and other children and they look like they are doing everything right and we are doing everything WRONG. Why is my kid running around during salat, Sister so-and-so’s kids are good. They make salat quietly alongside the adults. My kids are rolling around, pulling at my scarf. People must think we don’t pray at home. We do! We do!

But what we don’t see is that Sister so-and-so is not perfect and neither are her children. Every parent has problems and struggles, perhaps maybe some more than others. Allah knows best! So, be a good Mom. Be a good Dad. Do your best. Have standards. Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t sacrifice your mental and physical health. Ask Allah for patience and gratitude.


Salihah said...

Alhamdulillah, ameen

sara said...

Oh my God! You said it all.. I had the same dreams, homeschool, lotsa Quran, and so much more, and right now, as she sleeps peacefully ast the end of this, I'm just catchin my breath.. Its so much harder than it seemed!
Wish you guys all the best, may Allah grant you the strength to make them ur roads to heaven, amen :)

Janna said...

Really good points you have pointed out.
I have quick question is how do you deal with a difficult child who has issue sitting for long or do work but if you put tv on no problem. So how can you dealt with that as i know someone who is home schooling but its all screaming and shouting that others had to intervene? He has an issue he has twitches but she don't want to expose him to any man made Medicine.

Don't take me wrong many have come out good by attendng school well I do crave I wish I had learn more Islamic and Quran....